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How well will Avatar do? We already know it will be shit Rate Topic: -----

#1 User is offline   PLEASUREMAN 

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Posted 17 December 2009 - 07:44 PM

James Cameron's nerdgasm Avatar is opening this weekend. This movie is like a long, slurping blowjob to my favorite demo, nerds. It has:

  • Women (men with breasts in the Cameronverse) who teach us the evils of rapacious male-dominated society
  • Exotic primitives whose simpler life of bonding with nature makes them superior (i.e. they don't do shit, sit around all day playing the aboriginal equivalent of WoW, lecture everyone about it)
  • Militaristic eye candy, but to allow for this guilty pleasure the military are evil pawns of whitey
  • Nauseatingly adolescent love story in which sex roles are all jumbled up and confused
  • Finally someone is making a movie about MY fursona

Nerds can only take this shit so far--Cameron also needs a huge swarm of 14 year old girls to descend on Avatar and keep it in theaters long enough to pay back its gargantuan budget (if that is even possible--studios take home decreasing percentages of BO after the opening week)

I predict a slobbering $200 mil opening weekend with heavy drops the following weeks, and I think it will end up settling around $350 mil domestic. That is not horrible until you factor in the budget and the reality that the studio won't get that much of the BO. Personally I would like to see a movie that invests in writing instead of this CGI. The original King Kong is still a better movie than Peter Jackson's grotesque, bloated monstrosity. And Avatar really looks to suck hard, but then that didn't stop Titanic which is one of the worst movies ever made.
nancyboy was the best.. like a father to me. now after the divorce he's living on a boat in florida and i never see him.. nancyboy come back rickey misses you.. its my birthday soon, at least call --Rickey Henderson
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#2 User is offline   BushrodButtram 

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Posted 17 December 2009 - 08:11 PM

It's so weird how exotic primitives in fiction are never anything like actual exotic primitives, all eating brains and sucking dick in New Guinea or whatever.
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#3 User is offline   pimpcane 

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Posted 18 December 2009 - 03:51 PM

From a review I happened upon:

Quote

Alien-girl Neytiri (Zoe Saldana) teaches Sully how to bond with a tie-dyed, eagle-like creature by docking his wriggly tail into it. “Feel her!” Neytiri urges


Even better than men with breasts, we now have blue men with breasts, anime eyes, cats ears, and "dockable" tails. I have a feeling the more loathsome varieties of nerds will be wearing raincoats in the theater.
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#4 User is offline   PLEASUREMAN 

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Posted 18 December 2009 - 04:23 PM

View Postpimpcane, 18 December 2009 - 03:51 PM:

From a review I happened upon:

Quote

Alien-girl Neytiri (Zoe Saldana) teaches Sully how to bond with a tie-dyed, eagle-like creature by docking his wriggly tail into it. “Feel her!” Neytiri urges


Even better than men with breasts, we now have blue men with breasts, anime eyes, cats ears, and "dockable" tails. I have a feeling the more loathsome varieties of nerds will be wearing raincoats in the theater.

fuck me

leave it to the nerd king to come up with a way to sexualize basic interaction with reality

trenchcoats? that's so 90s. BRING YOUR FLESHLIGHT!
nancyboy was the best.. like a father to me. now after the divorce he's living on a boat in florida and i never see him.. nancyboy come back rickey misses you.. its my birthday soon, at least call --Rickey Henderson
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#5 User is offline   PLEASUREMAN 

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Posted 18 December 2009 - 05:02 PM

I guess industry speculation is $85 mil domestic, which makes my baseline of $200 mil kind of ridiculous, even as a worldwide figure, but that's down to it being December and the movie will likely face a much smaller drop after the first week...but this is still not good news for the studio because a) the $85 mil is with the 3d ticket premium, and b) a smaller opening weekend means less money to the studio, unless they managed a very different deal with theaters. I don't see how this movie covers the negative cost unless it stays in theaters for three months...
nancyboy was the best.. like a father to me. now after the divorce he's living on a boat in florida and i never see him.. nancyboy come back rickey misses you.. its my birthday soon, at least call --Rickey Henderson
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#6 User is offline   rho 

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Posted 18 December 2009 - 07:39 PM

I just saw tie-in promo for the video game based on the movie.

Gigantic wads of fail cholesterol.

Cameron should have drawn it in crayon and posted it on YouTube. The AdSense revenues would have been more profitable.
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#7 User is offline   PLEASUREMAN 

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Posted 19 December 2009 - 09:18 AM

now Fox is getting ready to call $85 mil victory...btw on Nikki Finke's site there is full-on culture war about this movie, with industry liberals getting into a shrieking match with Drudge visitors over the movie's (gay) politics...if nothing else the movie looks to be hugely divisive (which may help it get lots of praise and ongoing publicity among the media tribals)
nancyboy was the best.. like a father to me. now after the divorce he's living on a boat in florida and i never see him.. nancyboy come back rickey misses you.. its my birthday soon, at least call --Rickey Henderson
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#8 User is offline   darkestofniggers 

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Posted 20 December 2009 - 07:47 AM

i always wanted to do/played around with special effects/3d so i watch those big budget movies with a different frame of mind sometimes, but i totally agree with the OP spend some damn money on a writer.

ive noticed it seems like in the past few years pacing in movies has gotten even more extremely worse. marketing to a crowd using more and more things like youtube, twitter, facebook, and being saturated more and more by advertising everywhere you look? like the difference between pace of living to an old man without electricity living in a cabin and the pace of living of a kid that can't go 10 seconds without checking facebook.

also i think its somewhat impossible to have great writing while at the same time appealing to the large demographic that you need, if you want to justify spending $500 million dollars.

like how politicians try to be as generically human as possible to get the widest audience.
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#9 User is offline   PLEASUREMAN 

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Posted 20 December 2009 - 01:10 PM

Cameron, like Stephen King, has always betrayed a fixation on class warfare which gets a pass from mostly liberal critics who like to see caricatures of awful rich people get their comeupance at the hands of prole values. In Aliens he turned Ripley, originally a somewhat pissy officer class character into a HURR SHE-HULK GET AWAY FROM MY BABY YOU BITCH, and part of the transformation was making sure she got mistreated by a corporation and was forced to take a manual labor job (i.e. earning her prole stripes).

After The Terminator, you stop seeing authority figures in Cameron movies behaving with a shred of responsibility or nuance, and instead they become abettors of pure evil, at best hapless and incompetent, at worst totally complicit with foreknowledge of the scale of their atrocities. In T2, Sarah Connor becomes a raging anti-male feminist shrew, and while her animosity towards male power renders who an inhuman killing machine at least as bad as the future robots, Cameron actually seems totally unware of this irony in his own movie. He fails to capitalize on it with his typical sledgehammer bluntness and there is no dramatic resolution to this aspect of the character's transformation.

The Abyss was a straightforward misanthropist's lecture, a boring tirade about the ecological and other evils of humanity as seen by an egomaniacal director with the worst case of moral tunnel vision on record. (Cameron's sets do tend to produce unflattering stories about his tantrums and lack of respect for those beneath him, hallmarks of the lower middle class.) True Lies has the benefit of being the last movie to feature Arab terrorists (excepting United 93--a great and underrated movie, by the way), but its sexual politics are so confused that I wouldn't hazard a guess as to what its point was. The movie really never feels like a James Cameron film, in part because it is missing those telltale obsessions.

Titanic, aside from aggressively defaming the upper class passengers on that voyage who in reality sacrificed their lives for those women and children in steerage, is a ridiculous class warfare love triangle, pitting hack cliches of rube and swell against each other for the love of a frankly not that great-looking woman. By this point, Cameron's resentments are unmistakeable--he simply can't portray the third leg of the love triangle as having a single redeeming feature, even though failing to do so disparages his heroine's character. Instead we get the kind of dramatic conflict that dumbass peasants always love: us (peasants) vs. them (people who tell us what to do all the time). It goes without saying of course that neither of the male figures in the triangle behave like men at any point; watch Titanic and long for the days when Bogart and Grant and Stewart, et al, would give these whelps the back of their hand. It would certainly be a short first reel. (Today DiCaprio is 35 years old--and he still looks disturbingly immature, like a 19 year old ravaged by steroids.)

Which takes us to Avatar, a bloated magnum opus and which from a medium distance looks like more of his failure to seek therapy. Cameron of course has never been much of a writer--who else would actually stick the line "We're not in Kansas anymore" not just in the movie but in the trailer. But boy does he love his story tricks. Like Hawthorne, he works the same ones over and over again, delighting like a small child in the dumbest plot devices, stiffest romances, tinniest dialogue, and crudest villainy.

It's worth gauging the reaction to Avatar as a clue to how much dumber our narratives will be getting in the near future--they're already pretty stupid--whether big, dumb spectacles like Avatar and Transformers are the shape of things to come.
nancyboy was the best.. like a father to me. now after the divorce he's living on a boat in florida and i never see him.. nancyboy come back rickey misses you.. its my birthday soon, at least call --Rickey Henderson
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#10 User is offline   miles 

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Posted 21 December 2009 - 09:00 PM

It would have been nice to hear that Avatar was another "Star Wars" or "The Empire Strikes Back", but my hopes are low after reading Admin's reflections upon it. I think the premise of science fiction stories set in other worlds, not out own, could be fertile soil for some great entertainment that is non-political and non-culture-war fodder. Just a great ride for everyone watching.


Ive enjoyed reading through these threads and the thoughts of some of the posters here. Cameron brings to mind some of the connections Admin has made concerning people who excel in their own field, thinking they can solve the rest of the world's problems because of that. Cameron, being a movie director, has a unique opportunity to stuff some of his prescriptions for us into his entertainment via the plotlines and characters, condescending to the audience through them.

Avatar is going to be a harder sell than the prequel Star Wars movies (can't even remember their proper names) because the love interests (from what I understand via a couple of reviews) involve blue-ten-feet-tall aliens and not human beings. That might leave many women especially feeling as if something is missing, negating their desire to see it multiple times as they did "Titanic". My local paper's review was two-and-a-half stars. However to be fair, my local paper gave the movie, "An American President" four stars and the entertaining (I said "entertaining", not great artistic triumph) "Basic Instinct" only two-and-a-half stars back in 1992. I walked in expecting to see a so-so flick that was mildly dull with my date that night, but wound up pretty invested and actively trying to figure out how the real killer might not have been the obvious one. If Avatar had a great, intriguing plot that really made you think and got you emotionally invested in it, the blue-alien angle would be transcended and people would be willing to go back for a second or third showing at the theater (3-D isn't "Netflixable" yet is it?). If its just a standard hackneyed plot we have seen before, played out with great backdrops and good effects, I dont see the hook setting in the public too deeply. It will be interesting to see what kind of legs this movie has. If loads of people are seeing it a month from now, I'll check it out. For now however, I think I'll pass.



BTW---Most "engrossing" movie experiences that I have had at the theatre were: Star Wars (was less than 10 years old at first viewing), Superman (1978), The Empire Strikes Back, The Wizard of Oz (I was 4 or 5 at the time and was blown away), Raiders of the Lost Ark, North by Northwest (holy shit I enjoyed that one-and still wished America looked like that film). The Omen 2 (parents should not bring children to something like that--it scared me to death) and the Exorcist were pretty frightening to me, but I dont enjoy being scared so I have generally not seen the horror movies everyone else has.

Older movie experiences that made a big impression were A Clockwork Orange (hit me square in the mouth, as I had no idea what it was about when I seen it on cable late one night, only that it was considered a classic film), Full Metal Jacket (again, was unprepared for the shocking material), Goodfellas (caught me cold, especially the opening scene), Pulp Fiction (I wish it didn't spawn so many imitations thereof), Basic Instinct (1992---so risque and unexpected......the music was Hitchcockesqe also). There have been several movies that I know are better films that those above, but at the age I seen these and my expectations made them engrossing viewing experiences. Casino was a pretty intense first viewing.


BTW-2- Making a movie in 1997 about the Titanic (men interested in infamous historical event) with two attractive young people in a love triangle (women almost guaranteed to like that) should have not been a hard sell. Plenty of directors probably could have made a mint if they had the money and actors Cameron had to work with on that project.
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#11 User is offline   PLEASUREMAN 

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Posted 02 January 2010 - 01:31 PM

Request: someone post a YouTube with all of the hardass Colonel's best hardened the fuck up, coffee-sipping moments...I'm not going to pay to see that dick slobbering movie no matter how "great" the 3d computer graphics are...better yet, someone make a competing movie where the same character gets to kick ass without having to lose in the end so that faggot liberals can forgive themselves
nancyboy was the best.. like a father to me. now after the divorce he's living on a boat in florida and i never see him.. nancyboy come back rickey misses you.. its my birthday soon, at least call --Rickey Henderson
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#12 User is offline   Jeff Fries 

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Posted 11 January 2010 - 09:36 PM

CNN:

James Cameron's completely immersive spectacle "Avatar" may have been a little too real for some fans who say they have experienced depression and suicidal thoughts after seeing the film because they long to enjoy the beauty of the alien world Pandora.

On the fan forum site "Avatar Forums," a topic thread entitled "Ways to cope with the depression of the dream of Pandora being intangible," has received more than 1,000 posts from people experiencing depression and fans trying to help them cope. The topic became so popular last month that forum administrator Philippe Baghdassarian had to create a second thread so people could continue to post their confused feelings about the movie.

...

A user named Mike wrote on the fan Web site "Naviblue" that he contemplated suicide after seeing the movie.

"Ever since I went to see 'Avatar' I have been depressed. Watching the wonderful world of Pandora and all the Na'vi made me want to be one of them. I can't stop thinking about all the things that happened in the film and all of the tears and shivers I got from it," Mike posted. "I even contemplate suicide thinking that if I do it I will be rebirthed in a world similar to Pandora and the everything is the same as in 'Avatar.' "

Other fans have expressed feelings of disgust with the human race and disengagement with reality.

Ivar Hill posts to the "Avatar" forum page under the name Eltu. He wrote about his post-"Avatar" depression after he first saw the film earlier this month

"When I woke up this morning after watching Avatar for the first time yesterday, the world seemed ... gray. It was like my whole life, everything I've done and worked for, lost its meaning," Hill wrote on the forum. "It just seems so ... meaningless. I still don't really see any reason to keep ... doing things at all. I live in a dying world."

Reached via e-mail in Sweden where he is studying game design, Hill, 17, explained that his feelings of despair made him desperately want to escape reality.

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#13 User is offline   PLEASUREMAN 

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Posted 12 January 2010 - 09:52 AM

lol 10:1 odds this guy is a friendless nerd who is so fat the estrogen has fucked up his shemale brain

have to admit that Avatar is a success beyond anyone's expectations, Cameron has found the only audience segment more desperate for fantasy than hormonally troubled 14 year old girls: depressed nerds who want to fuse with video games and treadmill their night elf assassin for the rest of their lives
nancyboy was the best.. like a father to me. now after the divorce he's living on a boat in florida and i never see him.. nancyboy come back rickey misses you.. its my birthday soon, at least call --Rickey Henderson
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#14 User is offline   rho 

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Posted 12 January 2010 - 09:16 PM

I still have no desire to see the movie.

The ridiculous over-the-top swooning only instills instinctive hatred.
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#15 User is offline   PLEASUREMAN 

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Posted 12 January 2010 - 09:47 PM

Cameron's tin ear for dialogue, character, romance, nearly everything involving human interaction is profound. He is good with gung ho pseudo-military stuff, and that's it. From what I hear about his behavior on sets, he is probably borderline aspie. This fits in with his tendency to obsess over detail and subject matter for years on end.
nancyboy was the best.. like a father to me. now after the divorce he's living on a boat in florida and i never see him.. nancyboy come back rickey misses you.. its my birthday soon, at least call --Rickey Henderson
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#16 User is offline   rho 

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Posted 12 January 2010 - 10:07 PM

Until we're making soap out of the people who are pining over Avatar we have not evolved as a species.
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#17 User is offline   Jeff Fries 

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Posted 12 January 2010 - 11:04 PM

View PostPLEASUREMAN, 12 January 2010 - 09:47 PM:

Cameron's tin ear for dialogue, character, romance, nearly everything involving human interaction is profound. He is good with gung ho pseudo-military stuff, and that's it. From what I hear about his behavior on sets, he is probably borderline aspie. This fits in with his tendency to obsess over detail and subject matter for years on end.

The irony is that, as groundbreaking as it is supposed to be, nearly every detail in the movie is nakedly plundered from other sources - Frank Frazetta, Roger Dean, The Matrix series, Last of the Mohicans, Cameron's own oeuvre (including a pointless lift from Titanic), and, above all, Ferngully: The Last Rainforest. He should have titled it Cryptomnesiac.
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#18 User is online   PRCalDude 

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Posted 14 January 2010 - 12:32 AM

Paging Mr. Sailer:
http://movies.yahoo....nture-avatar-ap
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#19 User is offline   PLEASUREMAN 

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Posted 14 January 2010 - 08:22 AM

View PostPRCalDude, 14 January 2010 - 12:32 AM:



WHY DOES A WHITE MAN ALWAYS NEED TO SAVE THE OPPRESSED MINORITY

*rapes 9 year old to prevent getting AIDS*

edit: or more topically, *gets shit ruined in earthquake, begs for white people's aid*
nancyboy was the best.. like a father to me. now after the divorce he's living on a boat in florida and i never see him.. nancyboy come back rickey misses you.. its my birthday soon, at least call --Rickey Henderson
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#20 User is online   PRCalDude 

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Posted 14 January 2010 - 09:10 PM

View PostPLEASUREMAN, 14 January 2010 - 06:22 AM:

View PostPRCalDude, 14 January 2010 - 12:32 AM:



WHY DOES A WHITE MAN ALWAYS NEED TO SAVE THE OPPRESSED MINORITY

*rapes 9 year old to prevent getting AIDS*

edit: or more topically, *gets shit ruined in earthquake, begs for white people's aid*


On that topic, notice that the Dominican Republic is on the same freaking island and we're not hearing about 500,000 potential deaths there. When blacks start dying, they do it in a big way.

http://news.yahoo.co...haiti_disasters

Quote

"Buildings in the Dominican Republic are stronger and withstand disaster better, Merritt said. Partly that's because it is a richer country with a more stable government. "


And we know rich countries and stable governments just happen through a random collision of events. Cultures and peoples have nothing to do with outcomes.
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